My little Buddie Holly, first baby, crossed the rainbow bridge around 10:20 AM.
This was the most difficult and easiest decision I’ve ever made. His health started failing on Friday. When I did my morning kisses and ear rubs, he fell to the left. All day I wondered what was going on and what I should do. Friends said get him to the vet and try soft foods.
Over the weekend, he inhaled the soft foods and seemed to be doing better. I was relieved. On Sunday night he was stumbling and pacing, then I realized he didn’t know how to lay down anymore. I fell into an uneasy sleep once I heard him collapse on the bedroom floor.
This morning I went to check on everyone and he was miserable. He’d been pacing and stumbling since Midnight and was trying to find a corner. We were blessed to cuddle him all morning until we made it to the vet.
Below the image is my description of how the morning went, it could be considered graphic. And I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read the details.
As we left for the vet, I sat in the backseat cradling him, we took a loop past the river and I had to hold his head up so he could see. He would turn his head looking when he heard sounds and when we went over the river – his nose and ears were still good.
Our vet was very understanding and laid out all the options. He spent time with Buddie checking him out and said we could do more testing but it might end with the same result. With a broken heart I said I think it’s time to say good bye. It’s definitely not what I want but it’s what’s right for him. Mr BlumenSew was pushing the testing option, as Buddie fell between my legs and laid there shaking. I was blunt and said is this the quality of life you want for him?
After a brief discussion we made the very difficult decision. The vet and staff were very kind. We were able to hold him as he received the first shot which made him sleepy. We held and cuddled our boy telling him how much we loved him. His little ears would perk up when we said some of the family and pups he would see in Heaven. He fell into a very deep sleep with his nose under my arm, he loved burying that long rat nose.
Once it was time Mr. BlumenSew asked to leave the room, he was shown to another exam room. I was on the floor kissing B’s nose and rubbing his head. His silly ear wanted to stand straight up, which was so unlike him. I finally folded it back for his “fix your ears” pose.
Words can’t express how hard it was for me to leave him there. When someone (animal or person) holds my heart, I don’t want to leave them alone. I know it’s just their shell and their spirit is gone.
I made it out to the car before I started sobbing. Mr. BlumenSew and I stood in the parking lot crying for several minutes.
Then our life post Buddie began. His siblings wonder where he is and my heart is still hurting. I know that time will help me to find a new normal, I’m not ready for that. Don’t be surprised if your on my street and you hear my “Bubba where are you call”.
He’s going to be a hard pup to forget!